Why Do We Get Caught in the Trap of Overthinking?

In today’s world, we’re often encouraged to be open and vulnerable about our emotions. The media celebrates the idea of lowering our defences, removing our masks, and letting others see our true selves. While this openness can foster connection and growth, it also raises an important question: could our tendency to overthink and dwell on our feelings contribute to mental health challenges, such as depression?

The Trap of Overthinking

Imagine waking up one day feeling a bit low. There’s no obvious reason for it, and if left alone, the feeling might pass naturally. However, our “doing mind”—the part of us wired to solve problems—often takes over. It starts searching for answers: Did I sleep poorly? Was it something I said to my partner last night? Is it because of the financial stress I’ve been under?

This problem-solving process sends us combing through recent events, looking for the root cause of our mood. Often, this focus on negative possibilities amplifies the original feeling. When we can’t pinpoint a cause, we might expand our search, scrutinizing broader aspects of our lives—relationships, work, or lifestyle choices. What starts as a fleeting low mood can spiral into prolonged sadness as we ruminate, trying to “fix” something that may not need fixing.

Why Problem-Solving Doesn't Work for Emotions

Our critical thinking skills are fantastic for navigating external challenges. For example, if you’re planning a trip from point A to point B, your ability to analyse, compare, and evaluate is essential. But emotions aren’t external problems to be solved—they’re internal experiences to be felt.

When we apply problem-solving to emotions, we can end up stuck in repetitive thought patterns, going over the same ideas and memories without finding answers. This cycle, called rumination, traps us in a loop of overthinking.

As we ruminate, our inner critic often emerges: “Why does this always happen to me? Why can’t I figure this out? Why do I keep messing up?” These self-critical thoughts can deepen our low mood, turning a passing feeling into a sustained emotional slump.

Why Do We Ruminate?

We ruminate because we believe it will help. It feels like if we just think hard enough, we’ll find the answers—that clarity will emerge, and everything will fall into place. But research shows that rumination has the opposite effect. Instead of solving our problems, it worsens our ability to think clearly and resolve issues. Far from being the solution, rumination often becomes part of the problem.

Worse still, rumination can become a habit. If we’ve repeatedly responded to sadness by overthinking, our brain learns to default to this pattern whenever difficult emotions arise. Over time, this habitual response can make us more vulnerable to stress and depression.

Emotions Are Meant to Pass

Ironically, while we’re busy analysing our emotions, the original feeling often fades on its own. Emotions, like waves, naturally rise, linger, and eventually recede. But when we focus on fixing or dissecting them, we risk prolonging our distress and missing the chance to simply let them pass.

Learning to Let Emotions Be

So, what’s the solution? When emotions arise, instead of activating our problem-solving “doing mind,” we can cultivate the “being mind.” This approach encourages us to step back, observe our emotions without judgment, and allow them to follow their natural course.

Think of it like watching a wave gently break on the shore. We don’t need to stop it or change it; we just let it come and go. This practice of non-judgmental awareness is at the heart of mindfulness.

Mindfulness-Based Approaches

Jon Kabat-Zinn, a pioneer in the field of mindfulness, has developed two globally recognized programs: Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). These 8-week programs, available through resources like the NHS in the UK, teach individuals how to break free from patterns of rumination and replace them with healthier, more compassionate ways of relating to their emotions.

At Counselling with Rich – East Meets West, I build on a person-centred foundation, integrating elements of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) to support clients dealing with depression and anxiety. My practice is based in North Dorset.

Mindfulness helps us unlearn habitual overthinking and embrace a kinder, more present way of being. Instead of trying to fix our feelings, we learn to acknowledge them, sit with them, and let them go.